you may get wet

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Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyways.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Pepe Le Pu

The donut hole. The goose egg. The old skunkaroo. Whatever you want to call it, I was shut out this weekend. For a week I watched the reports with the greatest of hopes; I read through The Surfer’s Journal; I repaired minor dings on my board. And when my surfection was threatening to rip through the ol’ Rip Curl, I plunged into an ebbing channel that floated me effortlessly past half-submerged boulders to the outside.

Maybe it was a little too easy. Being pulled out to the take-off spot gave me the false impression that it was going to be a day of non-consequential rides back to the rip. I realized just how wrong I was as the first set waves of the sesh stacked up on the horizon. Scratching like a dog I pierced through the first two, only to be rolled half way to Portland by the third, and mightiest, wave.

Someone must have hit the replay button, because after struggling to reclaim my spot I was again tumbled into the garbage disposal.

The rest of the session was a comedy of errors, as I hunted the ever-elusive peak. The punctuation to the story was stamped all across the crescent bay when the sea heaved forth an onslaught that made me think of Discovery channel programs with names like “When Good Times Go Bad” and “Nature’s Wrath.”

It’s a true testament to the beauty of surfing that even though I was humiliated on all fronts I came away from the weekend with a smile and plans to get back out as soon as possible (not to mention a ding roughly the size of the bruise on my thigh). Surfing, for me, is about so much more than, well, surfing. It’s about the friends, the music, the struggle, the water, the chit-chat, the wine, the art, the sleep, the salt and so much more.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Work Boots for Oregon Watermen

"Work Boots for Watermen" is the classic Rainbow Sandal's tagline. It usually shows some bronzed dude reverently gazing out to sea. Well, as much as I'd like to poke fun at the ad, I'm actually quite envious. Unfortunately/fortunately, my waterman work boots are chunky hiking boots. While they don't have the casaul appeal of thongs, they are perfect for lacing up over your 3 mil booties when hiking across mud, rock, ice and fallen tree limbs. Oh yeah, they also have the distinct advantage of bright neon coloring, so you'll never lose them in the forested coastline.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Frosty Brahski

I let my friend Frosty borrow my board for some ice screamers.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

All Snowy on the Western Front

With an impending departure to LA, snowy surf trips with great friends in the PNW take on even more significance.

First, there was the drive. Through powder and ice. Following the Camry as we slid our way to paradise.

Watching a few ice creamers got us acquainted with the water. Then it was cat and mouse as we chased the peaks to stay warm. Finally finding some just as the toes went numb.

Out of the water and into the fire. Nothing remained but the painful goodbye and a return trip back to reality's grip.

Now all we've got left are the memories.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Ramp Retards

I know, I know, it’s not OK to use that word. But if any of you had seen the inaugural display on OS’s new half-pipe, you’d have to agree the only appropriate word is RETARDED.

There was so much retardation on display that a whole new branch of study has been opened up – retardology. I’ll briefly walk you through the initial findings of the burgeoning field:

First, we have Pro-Magnon. He bears a striking resemblance to Cro-Magnon, but believes through the use of excessive Pro-Tec padding that he can one day become a professional ramp skater.

Then there’s Homo-Erection. He is cognizant of his inability on the ramp, but believes he can overcome any deficiencies through a highly attuned sense of style. Take note of his pink Converse, tight black jeans and Palestinian scarf.

Next we have Little Big Foot. Having somewhat adapted to modern life, Little Big Foot now hides his fur-covered body beneath denim. But don’t be fooled, his lack of higher reasoning can be seen in his use of a bike helmet instead of a skating helmet. LBF is also sometimes referred to as Icky Icarus, as he flies high to the coping but clearly has no idea what to do once there.

This photo is a rare sighting of the Duckfoot Splatterpus. His name is derived from his highly unique stance on the board and his propensity to put body to plywood. Not long after this photo, Duckfoot was seen walking into the kitchen and cursing the ramp as he resumed his position on the couch.

Finally, we have the Missing Link. After many rumored spottings, the Missing Link was finally captured on film. Unfortunately, no action shots were taken. If there had been, viewers would have been treated to a flowing, graceful display that clearly marks the link between the aforementioned retards and the competent, non-retarded skaters they’d like to become.